


Coffee...Straight Up

by cruisedirector, CyberMum



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: F/M, Plot What Plot, Poetry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-02-02
Updated: 2002-02-02
Packaged: 2017-10-06 23:28:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/58896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cruisedirector/pseuds/cruisedirector, https://archiveofourown.org/users/CyberMum/pseuds/CyberMum
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Chakotay finds out how Janeway likes her coffee, among other things.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Coffee...Straight Up

**Author's Note:**

> If you are offended by unusual uses of coffee, perpendicular sex, or clunker limericks, please stay away.

One Delta Quad captain particular  
Refused to get extracurricular.  
Chak got down on his knees  
She refused all his pleas  
She preferred to remain perpendicular.

Yet so great was her XO's devotion  
When he failed to sway her with emotion  
He approached her full frontal  
And got horizontal  
Dripping wet with coffee-flavored lotion.

Our captain had no thought of bed  
With her first mate she wanted instead  
To just remain friends  
'Til their long journey ends  
But caffeine made her weak in the head.

She caught on right away to his trick  
And although she knew she should drop-kick  
Him right onto the floor  
And then out the door  
She decided to try just one lick.

The innocuous spot that she chose  
Was between his two biggest toes.  
When she squatted to suck  
He smiled at his luck  
As she worked her way towards his nose.

Our captain was really quite thorough  
Concentration made her brow furrow.  
So she missed the "amen"  
That left his lips when  
In a sensitive spot she did burrow.

Chakotay had been very clever,  
Putting extra lotion near his lever  
But his plan he did rue  
When she started to chew,  
And he begged as she bit, "Please don't sever!"

He'd heard a sad tale, don't you see  
From the twentieth century  
About some man's wife  
Who had used a sharp knife...  
He was re-attached fortunately.

The captain was enthusiastic  
And his member was proving elastic.  
Her lips performed feats  
That increased his heartbeats  
And brought him to a state orgiastic.

"Uh, Captain," he warned with a moan  
As she ate him like an ice cream cone,  
"I'm enjoying these favors  
But you might get mixed flavors:  
My control is about to be blown."

Yet Janeway, obsessed with the scent  
Of coffee, would not soon relent.  
While she sated her thirst  
His bubble did burst  
For he had been too long abstinent.

The captain would not be diverted,  
Nor was she at all disconcerted  
That she might seem unchaste  
Delighting in the taste  
With which she was faced as he spurted.

Although Chak was afraid she would scream  
And awake from her caffeine-choked dream,  
She smiled as she swallowed  
Then with these words followed:  
"I often like coffee with cream."

"My Captain," he sighed, quite elated  
After his pulse had abated,  
"I am much more serene  
Now I know that caffeine  
Will keep us both sexually sated."

"Now remember Chakotay," she said,  
"Don't let success go to your head.  
Although you might frown  
I still won't lie down."  
So he offered her this choice instead:

"If you wish to remain so correct  
To this option you might not object  
We can still have it all  
We'll just lean on the wall  
And do it while staying erect."

Janeway sighed as she shifted position  
To consider this fine proposition,  
For while she liked to stand  
When her vessel was manned,  
She always had one admonition:

"While your plan fits my rules to the letter,  
I fear that my thighs may get wetter  
Since there could be drippage  
Should there be any slippage,  
So as for staying erect, you'd better!"

He greeted these words with a howl  
Of laugher and this quick avowal:  
"I'll be glad to comply  
Or at least I will try  
And if not I'll hand you a soft towel."

"Well in that case I hereby suggest  
That we give your solution a test."  
So she stood up throughout  
And proved without doubt  
That in no way was she repressed.

Though the scent of Chak's coffee perfume  
Now wafts daily from the ready room,  
The crew is too yellow  
To ask why he's so mellow  
And the captain's glowing; they assume

That their brave XO must intervene  
And fix her when she's needing caffeine  
With his own special blend  
That has her on the mend...  
Or could be he's feeding her protein.

And if she seems quite aggravated  
It's obvious - she is unsated.  
Someone on the crew  
Must have poured the wrong brew  
And given her decaffeinated.

But Chakotay's learned how to delight  
His captain when she feels uptight  
He can do what he wants  
There is no resistance  
As long as she's standing upright.


End file.
